‎Hello world!Welcome to today’s edition of ‘I hate Nigerian men’ Infact, ‘I hate men altogether’

I guess I can finally say “been there, done that, got the T-shirt’

No pun intended..

Anyway, this is a typical I was in my house and trailer came and jammed me story.

Well technically I was in His house. He’s my boyfriend of 3years and counting o.

I wasn’t looking for anything on the phone oo. Infact ‘boyfriend’ said to help him change song on the playlist. I won’t forget. Twas ‘jamb question by Simi’

What really attracted me was the whatsapp wallpaper I had accidentally landed on a whatsapp chat as I pressed the unlock button- cos he left the app running. It was really “hot” a girl. I thought twas those celeb fantasy crush types.

I recognised the picture. Looked like Pearl, my eldest sister’s best friend who’s in China. But I was like nahh it ain’t her. The persons clothes were skimpy so I thought twas those #postbadbitches girls. But it was also her Display picture and I had apparently stumbled on their chat. 

Ps this has got to be new because it’s usually Dola, Mimi, kat, etc on his recent chat list but never Pearl.

Anyway I clicked to see her fine display picture.

Then I saw media history.

And what caught my eyes


Wait for it..


Dicks pics😦

Like 5

I hadn’t opened the entire thing

Then his exes last instagram picture.

And a mirror selfie of someone

Shaking, I clicked on the Dicks pics

I was like Hian, she’s sending him pics of boys toasting her. 

Because boyfriend and dick pics don’t rhyme. Or so I thought.😞


Seeing as I didn’t know whose penis it was I scrolled left

Boy! What my eyes saw… 

A mirror selfie of boyfriend😱

In boxers Abi towel Abi pant.

I was too scared to assess

The thing around his waist was hanging so low it left nothing to the imagination.



I no fit talk.

I guess it’s safe to say birds of the same feather..

And Men will always cheat.

I’m proud to say that I have never cheated on a boyfriend.

Boyfriend is probably still hung up on Ivie(his ex)

She must have broken up with him because she must have heard something and couldn’t call him out.


But that’s what’s going to happen

I can’t call him out for something I saw while snooping (which is what it’ll look like)

If I wanted to I would have called him there and then

But I for trek go house and I been no get shishi for my bag.

Sigh! Lousy excuse. What if I say it’s love?

Or i’ll soon send my own breast pics to men. 

I’m not sad

I asked him if he’s talking to other people in the course of the relationship and what he thinks about sending nudes.

Just as gist.

And he’s such a liar and a hypocrite.

I weak

I might just come clean and say what I saw cos beating around the bush is making me seem insecure. 😢


Maybe I am sad, a teeny weeny bit

Adopted for the wild Twitter trend #iwasinmyhouseandtrailercametojamme


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